Shakira: pack the cheater, side with Burberry

Sissi Malva de Moura
3 min readDec 30, 2022

After a rocky start, Shakira is handling the separation like the pro she is: after all, success is the best revenge.

Image via Shakira América on Youtube

With Shakira´separation drama from Spanish two-bit cheater soccer player Gerard Piqué coming to closure, at last, the Colombian superstar seems to be finally ready to move on and make the world her oyster, as she should.

Sure, at first, when she apparently caught her partner red-handed, the poor thing had a meltdown, as many of us would (see my original article about their break up here); she then proceeded to have some less-than-ladylike moments because well, she´s human and a pop star, not royalty (and we all know that even those can lose their temper when facing ridiculous drama in such a scale) and released two songs throwing shade (this one and this one, with a gory video, exposing her heart out of her chest and all)- which, not being exactly a class-act idea, at least is understandable, honest and cathartic (not to mention lucrative).

And what´s a girl to do when she is a multimillionaire pop star, gorgeous, with a high IQ and two beautiful children in her custody who got cheated on by her partner with a younger, poor man´s version of herself (whose half terrified, half butter-wouldn´t-melt- in her- mouth facial expression reminds me of that verse from Corpse Bride: with a face like an otter in disgrace…)?

Moreover, what´s a global superstar to do when to add insult to injury, the cheating story is allegedly tacky as they come? If reports are correct, Gerard Piqué stole the girl from his best friend´s brother, who worked for his events company, hiring her instead. So the poor fellow lost his girlfriend, his friend and his job in one stroke. Talk about double cheating and backstabbing. The plot could hardly sink any lower. It´s one of those cases when, as the immortal novelist (and my favourite) Eça de Queiroz would put it, one´s soul falls into the loo, and we need an inner bath.

Well, since as the same author put it, bathhouses for the soul aren´t exactly available, retail therapy- or the A-lister version of it, collaborations with prestigious brands — is the next best thing. And that was precisely what Shakira did: not only she sided with a luxury brand, she went straight to the top with a heritage label by starring in…